Firecracker to the moon, keep your eyes shut

You'll miss me if you blink twice

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mid third term
good evening. i ran out of websites to vent, deleted some of them, so i thought of resurrecting my LJ.

i'm feeling so unproductive today. actually, i have to read oedipus rex worth 40 pages and do a paper about it for my literature course. i haven't done anything, and this is to be passed tomorrow. :(

it has been a number of times that i have been like this (i admit that i am a crammer, but not this EXTREME). i hate myself for being like this - i constantly procrastinate. i cram everything. i tried a lot of yes-i'm-gonna-start-again-and-this-is-what-i'll-do-first ways to cure this but to no avail. one thing more is that it sucks that i can't go up late. i suck in all-nighters, i always give up. (i think this is from a medical reason, but that's another thing.)

i'm also bothered with extra-curricular activities left and right, being active in 2 orgs. up to now i still don't know how to juggle these things.

this one org (green media group) requires me to sign up for productions and do media work, i.e. being a PA, AVP, hosting, photo, etc. for three times already, i have been backout-ing (is there such a word?) myself for last minute and get a replacement just because of academics and other matters. i'm so ashamed with the higher people because i'm super hassling them and all that.

and so i'm quite envious with one of my friends. she gets her work done ahead of time. she's not active in her orgs so i think this may be the reason why she can do what i have always wanted to do - be done with my work early and efficiently.

i signed up for two more productions and i think, that'll be last for this term. i add that if you become very active in that org, you can have the chance to get a scholarship - which i need badly. but i guess, i have to scrap that now, maybe next time.

i have to be more determined today (esp this term), since i have a qualifying thingie for comm arts, and i want to pass that. otherwise i have to shift, because i won't be able to take majors for my second year. heck no, that's shit. i don't see myself in any other course aside from what i am taking.

i want development for myself. i want better grades. i feel like i want to focus on my acads now and be inactive in orgs.

ang random ko
i just admire people who can do both acads and extra curic very well. saludo ako sa inyo.


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